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Egocentric in the City

by Soy La Vid

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1.
You say that God’s been talking a lot Telling you things you shouldn’t know You wrote it all down but went a bit Joseph Smith And you lost it all Like how to cure our diseases – like the common cold, and those pesky freckles They push shopping carts with long beards and incoherent eyes Tell me where do you sleep at night, oh Stop you to talk about the weather and the end of the world And how they’re always watching you with cameras Now I’m watching too If nothing else – a survivor. But then again, not a whole lot more They push shopping carts with long beards and incoherent eyes Tell me where do you sleep at night, oh (x2) Ghosts of the City! Ghosts of the urban underground! Ghosts of the City! Ghosts of the urban underground! Ghosts of the City!
2.
I am not the Atticus that I had hoped to be I am inconsistent in loving people not like me It’s hard to cross a culture every time I cross the street I feel about as stable as that house of leaves It’s more than an only child can take Sometimes I look around and just lose my grasp on hope My only consolation, Jesus, is that you don’t Sometimes I look around and just lose my grasp on hope Oh oh oh oh That’s a lot of starfish by an unrelenting sea That’s a lot of folks who are dying slowly Many days I do not look the well-watered tree Feel about as stable as that house of leaves It’s more than an only child can take (Chorus) The Lord is concerned for the poor; Ostensibly so am I There’s nowhere else I’d rather be But gosh! It keeps me in a near-constant state of dependency!
3.
You may notice I wear sweaters I drive a hybrid And I like Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain in the background I like Seinfeld And microbreweries And we don’t raise our hands, raise our hands at church Dear White Privilege – Thank you for all you give Smiles in the grocery store in place of glares or being ignored I’m assured a better deal on an apartment or an automobile Every job that I’ve desired – my skin’s not kept me from the hire I walk down the street with my girl We’ve never had to deal with a racial slur You may notice I climb mountains I own a banjo And I like Slanted and Enchanted in the background I like sci-fi And apple cider And we are ignorant, ignorant of this Dear White Privilege – Thank you for the life I live Casually I’m unaware of the color of my outer layer The test are written for me to pass and the ceilings never made of glass I can drift through colorblind – so tolerant; yes, I’m well-refined Walk a mile in your shoes you suggest? I’ll check my schedule and give you a tentative ‘yes’
4.
Can I admit When I first saw you on the street I was so afraid I made assumptions on the spot Though some of them were right; I was wrong more often than not That’s in the past Now I’m embarrassed to confess I was on my guard I judged the book by the cover Though occasionally you find a good read; mostly I was off Does this happen to you every day? Do you have the hope that this will change? It’s hard to say The ‘r’ word self-referentially Well, at least out loud So can we soft-pedal this And skip to the part where I admit how irrational I’ve been? Does this happen to you every day? Do you have the hope that this will change? And in Luke chapter 10 His Samaritan Answers the question Of ‘Who’s my neighbor?’ Simply by loving him across tenuous ancestral lines Does this happen to you every day? Do you have the hope that this will change? This will change.
5.
We’d just put away the autumn decorations Replaced them with the winter ones There were white LED lights all around Lit up your face Lit up the room Lit up your face Lit up the room And in the background I try to set the mood “Christmas in the Room” was still just too strange for you But I asked you to dance, spun you around Just like the movies In the living room Just like the movies In the living room The droning sound of the everyday took nothing away Yeah, the dishwasher sang along with us And I could tell from your eyes; green and brown That you love me deeply In the living room That you love me deeply And I love you And if it’s our last Christmas together; just you and I Hang out to memories like this one for me
6.
This isn’t the first time that I’ve done this he said “Gardening?”, I ask. “No”, the 8-year-old replies “This isnt’ the first time I’ve helped a white person dig before.” I smile quizzically, shake my head, and keep digging Ace Boogie jump the fence Ace Boogie chase you home Ace Boogie bad name to Every other pit bull Ace Boogie attack my wife Attack my dog Attack the kids Attack the kids Ace Boogie – animal control; you’re gone
7.
8.
Fold my hand and flag down a plane Red and blue lights flash in my brain I could stick it out in the urban fog or I could fill my life with the SkyMall catalogue… Oh oh oh Tradin’ fadin’ street lamps for the palm trees Inner city pressure for 82 degrees Broken-down mothers for the heated pool An absence of fathers for the detached and cool…. Ah ah ah I think I might go for a swim While my friends lose hope and take it on the chin I pretend to live in the city Where the prostitutes are far from pretty But truly I am off on beaches Sipping drinks with stunning features I think I saw someone famous They told me that the money’s aimless I think I saw one of my neighbors They told me they’re living off of vapors …. Oh oh oh I think I might go for a swim (I want to see beautiful people) While my friends lose hope and take it on the chin (I want to see beautiful people) There’s one difference between your life and mine; I can trade up any time I like ‘cause I’m white and I’m middle class I’m white and I’m middle class I’m white and I’m middle class I’m white and I’m middle class Think I might go for a swim While my friends lose hope and take it on the chin
9.
I am the most internally conflicted person in the room But my cotton candy face will lead no one to assume That my chest is a churning, roiling, burning cement mixer So I smile just like we practiced in the mirror for the picture When all I want to do is read a book From cover to cover My introversion makes me a pretty bad party guest But an attentive lover No one likes the music that I put on for the background No one seems to notice that I’m upstairs; not coming back down You laugh at things to which I relate and it’s doin’ me in Can we pretend that you empathize or at least cognitively understand Yeah this party wears me out; I only know so much about the weather A small child that can’t be left unattended; wrapped ‘round you – I’m a tether I open my mouth to let you in on the turmoil but I’m cut off I don’t have the confidence to break in and pick up where I was cut off I’ve got this enigmatic ocean that’s inside of me that I don’t understand myself So maybe instead of trying to wade you through it I should place it on the shelf And quit. No one can tell I’m sentimental inside Pull the trigger but it sits just like seaweed in the tide No one can tell I’m sentimental inside I yank the floodgates open but the flood it subsides
10.
Urban Hymn 03:05
Ah, Sovereign Lord, my city grace With mirrored facets of thy face Reweave your church into the fabric Stitched by orphans and the addicts Restorer of the streets with homesteads Send your builders to the homeless Paver of the patchwork roadways (nos) Manda san trabajadores Ah, Sovereign Lord, my city break Of habits formed and poor forsak’d Reverse the exodus to comforts Of the self-protecting suburbs Oh year of Jubilee proclaim! Thus inequality profane Dry bones again sinew with life Graft us into our brothers’ strife Ah, Sovereign Lord, my city bless Renew thine urban wilderness Consume the dross of sin’s oppression Leaving thy sweet resurrection That thou hast promised ages past Oh glorious sight mine eyes possess! To see descending from on high Our eternal dwelling nigh!
11.
My grass seed sits there On top of rocky soil Content to grow Into nothing at all No one will know it was even there Ooh it overwhelms me Oh it overwhelms me The rain will wash them away I yell at my lawn Naming it as lazy Yet I provide no Fertilizer or straw Nothing grows here. No roots are put down Ooh it overwhelms me Oh it overwhelms me The rain will wash them away
12.
(I’ve got it all) I wrap my arms around my knees And like a hive of honeybees I would insulate myself And then drink to my good health Pat my back for my morality And my honed artistic palette See me make an entrance at my church While my insides are a hearse Wake up when I’m 83 With a pampered life trailing me And I weep with persistence For my purposeless existence Well that was my plan; what do you got? Oh oh oh oh oh I will unwrap your arms and spread them out Turn your individualistic outlook around and about I will grow your heartstrings until in time They reverberate and resonate with what shakes mine Happiness cannot be gained in the pursuit of happiness itself But the joyful life is a byproduct of something else And may I suggest To retry Jesus No I don’t mean the church or the moral law But the knowing him frees us Cause the one who knows you best Is the one who loves you most Can you set aside your cynicism? Make room for the Holy Ghost? And he’s moving to the city Started with a garden but it ends with a city
13.
There’s a house No longer a home But if Things get too bad Child, don’t be sad Well we’ll just move And If Things get too good Go like they should Well we’ll just move

about

The Concept: Middle-class, suburbanite white couple moves to the city. Hilarity, heartbreak and selfishness ensue.

credits

released September 6, 2013

All album art by Kathryn Dart
"Our Second Christmas in the New House" backing vocals by Laura Abdon
"Good Questions" features Phil Edwards
Mastered by Channel Fuse Media

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Soy La Vid Indianapolis, Indiana

Soy La Vid is the musical whimsy of Mark Abdon. Graduated from DePauw U. and now hailing Indianapolis, IN - current interests include Cinnamon Toast Crunch, tall mountains, Jesus, living in the 'hood, and his wife Laura.

Musical parents include the unlikely matrimony of such persons as Iron & Wine, Sufjan Stevens, Coldplay, The National, George Winston, Sarah McLachlan, Hammock, and yes... Enya
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